If You Are Judged Badly… Why?
Good question, isn’t it? Why are some of us judged badly? . . .
I think the answer is in your mirror.
What do you look like? Or, believe it or not, more importantly, what impression are you giving?
Because when a person just meets you, they don’t have to dig up something to think about you. It’s all right there in front of them.
If words are only 7% of the conversation, tonality is 38% of the communication, physiology is 55% of the communication — that means you’ve just said a bunch (55%) without even opening your mouth.
Knowing that, how are you standing when you meet someone new? Especially someone who may be intimidating you just by being there?
Really, though, that person isn’t intimidating you. You are intimidating yourself. How? By your self-talk. S/he is cuter than me, smarter than me, richer than me, etc. and s/he knows it.
Fortunately, that can be easily changed by changing your self-talk. And once you change your self-talk, half the battle is won!
Here’s how you can make changes.
Stand like you do when you meet someone new that you feel is judging you. Now, go stand in front of the mirror and look at your reflection.
Would you like yourself? Would you want to get to know you? Or would you look down on you?
The main reason people look down on others is … Because they can. And that is mostly because others allow them to.
Why do people allow others to look down on them? Well, they aren’t “consciously” allowing it. It’s just that they are allowing it to happen because they are busy listening to their self-talk.
They have trouble looking others in the eyes because they are too busy paying attention to old thoughts that popped up immediately. Thoughts that say “They won’t like me.” Or “I’m too tall, too short, too fat, too ugly, too ‘blonde’ (yes, that does pop up), too broke.” Or “They can’t be interested in me, I’m not in their league.”
Now as you are looking in the mirror, stand straight and tall and feel successful. (I’m sure you’ve done this before at some point in your life.) Now, if you are standing straight and tall and feeling successful, others are noticing this.
Remember, physiology is 55% of the communication. What have you just told them? Now, they are judging you, but in a different way. A way you have chosen. Isn’t that great?
Now, this sentence is probably running around in your head a lot and it, more than others, is the cause for no eye contact. “I hope they don’t talk to me, I don’t know what to say to someone like them.”
What can you do about it? The first thing to do is get rid of the negative thought. Every time you have it, cancel it out. Make sure to replace it with a good thought or affirmation — this is so the old thought can’t come back. (You can learn how to cancel your thoughts here: http://tameyourbrain.com/your-decisions-determine-your-destiny/ )
How does that make you better at speaking to strangers? Well, you’ll be amazed at what happens when you just make the effort to get rid of the block.
Getting rid of your blocks opens up all kinds of good things to come into your life. If you didn’t have doubts, what could you do?
Thanks for reading,
Master Neuro Linguistic Programmer
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DISCLAIMER: Jan Tincher and/or *Tame Your Brain!* do not guarantee or warrant that the techniques and strategies portrayed will work for everyone. The techniques and strategies are general in nature and may not apply to everyone. The techniques and strategies are not intended to substitute for obtaining medical advice from the medical profession. Always consult your own professionals before making any life-changing decisions.
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