If you’ve been reading “Tame Your Brain!” for a while now, you know how powerful words are, and the impact they have on your self-esteem . . .
First, let’s look at the definition of ‘vulnerable’. To define vulnerable, I would say it means to be put in a state where you are easily hurt. Many people are emotionally vulnerable.
For instance, have you ever been to a party and someone came up to you and said, “My, you look fat.” Or “My, you look skinny.” Or “My, you look stupid.” You get the idea. If you are already having problems with whatever issue they’ve mentioned, those words will have a serious, emotional impact on you.
Even if the person came right back and said, “I was only kidding. I didn’t mean it.” His or her apology won’t be what you’ll remember — the apology won’t be the words you run back and forth in your mind.
Just like that, your shoulders start slumping, you lose your zest, and you want to go home. And you are seriously ready to make someone else’s life a living hell when you get there.
Why? Because someone said something that hurt your feelings? You know the pity party you are about to embark on? NO ONE has any fun there. Why put yourself through that?
You see, if someone hadn’t tripped your trigger, you would have had a great time. ‘They’ didn’t hurt you. They only tripped a trigger that you have kept near the surface. You LET them hurt you simply by being vulnerable in that area, by keeping your vulnerable outlook close by so that they COULD hurt you.
Can you imagine what your response would be if you weren’t vulnerable? If they said “My, you look fat”, but in actuality you are thin? You’d laugh it off, wouldn’t you?
Why not take charge of your life? Why not take it upon yourself to be prepared for something like this? Be prepared to laugh it off. Because it’s going to happen as long as you have excess weight, a unusual hair style, pimples, glasses, or anything else of which people make fun.
*** TIP *** Did you notice that I didn’t say “as long as you have YOUR excess weight, unusual hair, etc.?” Because if you keep claiming it, you’ll keep having it.
The more you say “I’m fat” or whatever when you look in the mirror, the more you will keep the problem. The more you say derogatory words when describing yourself, silently or out loud, the more you impress those ideas into your subconscious, the more you will bring them into your life. The more you unconsciously invite people to make fun of you.
Here’s how to fix that.
The minute someone has hurt your feelings, or touched a vulnerable area, start imagining them in plaid pajamas. Their pajamas aren’t just any pajamas, though. These pajamas have a video playing in one of the big squares of the plaid on their chest.
The video has good things happening. It has your mom, dad, brother, sister, grandma, grandpa, or someone else you love or respect telling you all good things that you’ve accomplished in your life.
They’re patting your back and you are feeling terrific. You are paying attention to the video. Now, here’s the important part. As you are paying attention to the video, your shoulders are going back, your back is straight, you have a smile on your face — until the person has left, knowing he or she can’t get a rise out of you.
You have just gone up a notch on their respect barometer, and next time you’ll be able to talk with them closer to equals instead of you with ‘sucker’ tattooed on your forehead.
By the way, Sucker is just another word for vulnerable. Don’t sweat it. You know how to take care of it.
Note: Now, I realize there are some who don’t have any good memories to use in their video. This is where the Lemon article will come in handy. “What If Life Doesn’t Hand You A Lemon? Imagine It Anyway!” http://tameyourbrain.com/what-if-life-doesn’t-hand-you-a-lemon/
Thanks for reading.
Jan Tincher, Master Neuro Linguistic Programmer, also offers:
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DISCLAIMER: Jan Tincher and/or *Tame Your Brain!* do not guarantee or warrant that the techniques and strategies portrayed will work for everyone. The techniques and strategies are general in nature and may not apply to everyone. The techniques and strategies are not intended to substitute for obtaining medical advice from the medical profession. Always consult your own professionals before making any life-changing decisions.
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